World Elder Abuse Awareness Day: In their twilight years, Kashmir’s seniors face neglect, violence

Srinagar: When 70-year-old Abdul Rehman (name-changed) failed to appear at the mosque for prayers for two consecutive weeks, his concerned neighbor decided to check on him.

Upon visiting his house, they discovered Abdul Rehman confined to his bed. The neighbor observed that Abdul Rehman appeared frail, disoriented, and restless. His wife, who had been his sole caregiver, had passed away a year ago.

“The patient exhibited symptoms resembling dementia, such as memory loss, repetitive questioning, and disinterest in daily activities. His children had moved to the UK, and although he received a pension, his helper felt overwhelmed and lacked the knowledge to provide adequate care. Consequently, Abdul Rehman’s emotional needs were neglected, and he received little attention from his caregiver,” the psychiatrist treating him at Institute of mental health and Neurosciences (IMHANS), Kashmir said. 

Similarly, a 65-year-old woman was brought to the attention of mental health experts by a concerned relative. The woman cried profusely and developed intense anxiety about death, leading to frequent emotional breakdowns.

“She already suffered from uncontrolled diabetes and was recently diagnosed with a major depressive disorder. Financially dependent on her son after her husband’s death, she often faced neglect and inadequate financial support. Her deteriorating physical and mental health resulted from frequently skipping her prescribed medications,” the doctor said while highlighting her circumstances.

In their twilight years, elderly individuals often face difficult challenges, and unfortunately, many are deprived of the privilege of being surrounded by loved ones. Those living in poor conditions, lacking food, money, or a home, bear the brunt of neglect, abandonment, abuse, violence, unfair treatment, and denial of basic needs, often seeking shelter wherever possible.

Associate Professor and Geriatric Care Specialist, IMHANS, Kashmir, Dr Junaid Nabi told The Kashmir Monitor that elder abuse is any act that causes harm to an older person and is carried out by someone they know and trust such as a family member or friend. The abuse may be physical, social, financial, and psychological and can include mistreatment and neglect. 

“In physical neglect, the older person’s essential physical needs are deliberately not catered to by the formal or informal caregiver or other trusted persons. An example may be a wilful failure to turn a bedridden older person (which will precipitate bedsores),” he said.

He added that parents can also suffer from “Empty nest syndrome” which refers to the grief that many parents feel when their children move out of the home. This condition is typically more common in women.

“Unlike the grief experienced when (for example) a loved one dies, the grief of empty nest syndrome often goes unrecognized because an adult child moving out of home is seen as a normal, healthy event. Upset parents may find a few sources of support or sympathy,” Dr Junaid added.

Psychological neglect can be explained as turning a ‘deaf ear’ to the person’s emotions. The perpetrators (those who commit abuse or neglect) may employ force, threat, deception, or any kind of manipulation.

“Also, seniors have difficulty losing their mental faculties and often feel like they have lost their autonomy. Sometimes, their frustration turns into childish behavior, as often happens with the loss of control out of frustration and limited options. Additionally, digression of behaviors may also indicate serious developments in your parent’s health, such as a progression in mental decline or depression,” he stressed.

He maintained that some warning signs of elder abuse include unexplained signs of injury (scars, bruises, broken bones, etc.), damaged daily aids (like spectacles, walking sticks, etc.), malnutrition, unkempt appearance, tattered clothing, poor living conditions, sudden worsening of memory, prolonged sadness, and lack of privacy during doctor-visits.

Speaking to The Kashmir Monitor, Director, Gauri Kaul Foundation and Senior Geriatric Consultant, Dr. Zubair Saleem said elder abuse is a grave social evil that demands our immediate attention. It is imperative that we unmask this hidden problem in our society and address it with urgency.

“Most importantly, instead of reasoning with a senior, ask yourself why and look for causes. “Sometimes the why might be that your mother has worsening eyesight or hearing problems. Reassurance, affirmation, and emotional connection should take precedence over rationalizing why they need to behave like adults. People respond to being heard and loved, regardless of their age or mental state. At the same time, we must not forget the invaluable sacrifices made by our elders. It is essential to acknowledge and appreciate their contributions, and now, it is the responsibility of children to repay their kindness and care in their time of need.” he said.

Mir Umar, a lawyer at the High Court, highlighted the legal provisions available for the protection of elders, parents, and senior citizens.

Section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code imposes a legal obligation on children to support their parents financially if they are unable to earn and meet their daily needs. The court can direct children to provide monthly maintenance to their parents for sustenance, he explained.

“Additionally, for senior citizens above 60 years of age, we have the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007. It is specific legislation designed to ensure the overall welfare of senior citizens, including provisions for maintenance and the establishment of old age homes,” Mir said.

He pointed out that although these welfare legislations are now in place, their effectiveness on the ground remains unsatisfactory. “Despite various welfare schemes provided by the social welfare department, beneficiaries often encounter significant difficulties when attempting to access them,” he said.