Darakshan Hassan Bhat
In religions, cultures, and civilisations, women, especially mothers, have been accorded high respect. In Islam, the mother is the pillar of society and is given the highest status. In many other religions, women are worshipped and raised to an almost divine level, revered as embodiments of compassion, sacrifice and creation. But there is a role beyond all reverence, a role that can be even more potent than that of a mother as the first educator of humanity.
We hear so much today about the challenges facing society such as hatred, discrimination, violence, radicalization and social divisions. These divisions could be based on religion, region, caste, creed, race, ethnicity, gender, language or social status. Many institutions work continuously to solve these problems, but one of the most powerful stakeholders in closing those gaps is still inside every home: The Mother.
A few years ago, I came across a television advertisement that has stayed with me ever since. In the advertisement, a young boy of around 7 years of age was shopping with his mother in a supermarket. As they moved through the aisles, the child noticed an African woman. She looked different from them, and the boy instinctively pointed her out to his mother. It was one of those moments where a child is about to form an opinion, a moment where a stereotype could easily take root.
The mother looked at the woman and immediately responded, “Beautiful. Look, beta, how beautiful she is.”
The boy’s eyes widened. He looked again at the woman, but this time through a different lens. The perception had changed. What could have become a moment of ridicule became a moment of admiration. Soon, the three shared chocolates, smiles, and laughter.
The advertisement lasted only a few seconds, but its message was profound. It demonstrated how a mother’s words can shape the way a child sees the world. The child had not yet formed a fixed opinion. His understanding was still being constructed. A single response from his mother transformed what he noticed into how he interpreted it. This is precisely why mothers are among the most influential agents of social transformation.
Children are not born to be hateful. No one is born with a prejudice against another religion, caste, community, race, or gender. They receive perceptions from the environment. They pick up attitudes by watching, talking, and participating in daily interactions. If a child hears negative things about a community again and again, those biases can be normalised. When a child sees respect, kindness and empathy being modelled, these qualities are ingrained into their character.
A mother plays a special role in this process, because she is often a child’s first source of emotional, moral and social learning. Long before schools teach lessons of equality and citizenship, children learn to see others from their families.
A mother can teach a child that differences are strengths, not threats. She can help children to appreciate diversity rather than fear it. She can debunk stereotypes before they become beliefs, can teach that the value of a person is not about skin colour, religion, gender, region, language or economic status, but about character and humanity.
The implications of this role go far beyond prejudice. If we look closely at many social problems like violence, crime, corruption, exploitation, intolerance and conflict, we often find a deeper crisis of values. Laws can punish wrongdoing, but values prevent all wrongdoing from happening. Here is where maternal influence can be transformative.
Teaching kids empathy can help them avoid hurting other people. When they are taught respect, they are less likely to discriminate. When they are taught honesty, they are less likely to be corrupt. If they’ve been taught compassion, they are more inclined to help than exploit.
It might sound idealistic, but there is a deep truth in the belief that if mothers can be empowered to guide children with the right values, society can significantly reduce many of the problems it struggles with today. Crime prevention starts in homes, not police stations. Social harmony doesn’t start in conferences; it starts in conversations around the family table.
But to expect mothers to be this without empowering them would be unfair. For them to become effective builders of peace and social cohesion, society needs to recognize the authority, rights and influence of mothers. Women should be empowered not just economically or politically, but intellectually and socially as the teachers of generations.
It also means challenging the biases, prejudices and injustices that women themselves may have inherited from society. Children learn from mothers, and mothers learn from the contexts of their lives. Therefore, the empowerment of women must involve creating opportunities for dialogue, education, awareness and critical thinking that serve to challenge inherited prejudices and stereotypes.
The radicalization of thought at the household level in many ways is the beginning of the process to build a tolerant and peaceful society. Mothers can be the strongest advocates for inclusion, empathy and coexistence when they are empowered with knowledge, confidence and support to take on that role. Let’s recognize and mothers as the first educators and peace builders of a society, so the influence is seen over the whole nation.
(The author can be reached at darakshanhassanbhat@gmail.com)