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The wit and humour of Mohammad Ali Jinnah

Monitor News Bureau

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ALL those who knew Quaid-i-Azam intimately, know very well that he did never crack a joke merely for the sake of raising a laugh. He was too self-controlling and disciplined a man to waste time on little things. One thing he valued most was, Time. Time, he knew, can never return. Shakespeare said: “Oh! Call back yesterday / bid time return”. But Quaid-i-Azam never had the need to do so. He used every minute of his life as carefully as he wanted to. Punctuality, keeping appointments and never wasting a moment was his second nature.

He was [once] arguing an appeal before the full bench of Bombay High Court. He argued the whole day. The working time was up to 5pm. The judges asked: “Mr. Jinnah, how much more time would you need to finish your side?” He replied: “My Lord, hardly 15 minutes.”

Then the senior judge [on the bench] said: “Could you continue for a few minutes longer today and finish your address?” Normally, when a High Court judge says so, no lawyer would decline. But not so with Mohammad Ali Jinnah. “My Lord, I would love to do so, but I have a very important appointment which I can just make in time if I leave the court at once.”

 

The junior-most judge sitting on the left side of the chief justice whispered to him to insist that the case be finished on the day. “That is all right, Mr. Jinnah. We also have an appointment, but we like to finish this today so that judgment can be delivered on Monday.” Out came the reply from this great lawyer, shooting like a gun: “My Lords, the difference between your Lordships and myself is that (raising his voice) I keep my appointments.”

The three judges, Engilshmen, all went more red in their face than they already were. They all rose as if in a huff. Everybody got up and while the advocates bowed fully, the judges seemed only to nod. It was thought that the solicitor, who had instructed Jinnah, felt that this may affect the result of the case. The next morning the judges appeared in a very good mood.

Mr Jinnah was absolutely on the top of the profession. Therefore, naturally many lawyers tried their best to be allowed to work with Mohammad Ali Jinnah but very few could be taken. Mr. Frank Mores, then Editor of Indian Express, once wrote: “Watch him in the court room as he argues his case. Few lawyers can command a more attentive audience. No man is more adroit in presenting his case. If to achieve the maximum result with minimum effort is the hallmark of artistry, Mr. Jinnah is an artist in his craft. He likes to get down to the bare bones of his brief in stating the essentials of his case. His manner is masterly. The drab court rooms acquire an atmosphere as he speaks. Juniors crane their necks forward to follow every movement of his tall well-groomed figure. Senior counsel listen closely, the judge is all attention; such was the great status of this top lawyer.”

Once a very close friend whose request Mr. Jinnah could not decline came with his son who had just returned from England as a full-fledged barrister. He said: “Jinnah, please take my son in your chamber and make him a good lawyer.”

“Of course, yes,” said Jinnah. “He is welcomed to work in my chambers. I will teach him all I can. But I cannot transmit my brilliance to him”. Then slowly he added: “He must make his own brilliance.” This went into the heart of the young barrister and he worked so hard on the briefs and the law that one day he too became a great lawyer, but nowhere near the height of Mr. Jinnah.

It was around 1936-37 that Quaid-i-Azam came to Karachi and appeared before the Chief Court of Sind, as it then was, and appeared in a very important case and three lawyers of Karachi appeared against him. He had made a name as a lawyer long ago and in politics also he figured as a giant personality.

Consequently the rush to the court room consisting of lawyers, students and politicians was so great that the court room was full to the brim. The entrance to the court room had to be closed to stop any noise, so that judicial work could be carried on with a decorum and dignity befitting the occasion. But at the end of every hour, the door was ordered to be opened so that those who wanted to go out or come in could do so. When the first opening of the door at 12 O’clock occurred there was such a noise of rush that it appeared that the judges would lose their temper.
“My Lords,” said Jinnah in very sweet, melodious voice, “these are my admirers. Please do not mind. I hope you are not jealous.”

There was a beam of smile on the faces of judges and they appeared to be magnetically charmed by the words of the great persuasive man. The door remained opened and Quaid-i-Azam looked back on the crowd, raising his left hand indicating that he desired them to keep quiet. The atmosphere became absolute pin-drop silence as if by magic. The case proceeded for two days.

The Quaid-i-Azam was fond of students. He loved them immensely. He always exhorted them to study hard. “Without education”, he said, “all is darkness. Seek the light of Education”. In particular, he was most attached to the Aligarh Muslim students. He used to visit the Aligarh University as often as he could. In fact, in his will, he left the entire residue of his property worth crores of rupees to be shared by the Aligarh University, Sind Madressah and Islamia College, Peshawar.

On one occasion at Aligarh after a hard day’s work of meeting people, addressing the students as he was sitting in a relaxed mood, he was told that one student, Mohammad Noman, was a very fine artist of mimicry. He could impersonate and talk or make a speech with all the mannerism of his subject. Quaid-i-Azam was told that this student could impersonate him to such a degree that if heard with closed eyes, Quaid-i-Azam will think that it was he himself who was speaking and he will think as if he himself was talking to Quaid-i-Azam.

Quaid-i-Azam sent for the student at once. The student asked for 10 minutes’ time to prepare himself. After 10 minutes the student turned up dressed in dark gray Sherwani, a Jinnah cap and a monocle, like Quaid-i-Azam. Of course, he could not look like Quaid-i-Azam, but the appearance on the whole was somewhat similar.

Then the student put on his monocle and addressed an imaginary audience. The voice, the words, the gestures, the look on his face and everything appeared like Quaid-i-Azam. In fact, if he had spoken behind a screen without being seen, the audience would have taken him to be Quaid-i-Azam speaking himself. Quaid-i-Azam was very much pleased with the performance. But when it was finished, the culmination came unexpectedly. Quaid-i-Azam took off his own cap and monocle and presented to the student, saying: “Now this will make it absolutely authentic.”

In November, 1947, Quaid-i-Azam was in Lahore and he personally supervised operation of the rehabilitation of refugees. One day Quaid-i-Azam was invited to a girls college. The girls and ladies of the staff did not observe purdah as he addressed them.

When back at Government House, Quaid-i-Azam was in a humorous mood and wanted to know why the ladies did not observe purdah. His sister, Miss Fatima Jinnah, said: “That was because they regarded you as an old man.”

“That is not a compliment to me,” said Quaid-i-Azam. Liaquat Ali Khan, who was present, said: “That was because they regarded you as a father”.

“Yes, that makes some sense.”

Quaid-i-Azam was a man of such a strong character that he could not be easily attracted toward anyone, including women. Excepting his wife, there is no instance whatsoever of anyone at whom he glanced in love.

Once in Bombay, where he had gone to an English club to relax after hard day’s work, he played cards. The game was called Forfeit. It was played among four persons – two gentlemen and two ladies. Tradition required that the lady who lost the game must offer to be kissed by the gentlemen who won. The lady indeed was very attractive and she offered Quaid-i-Azam to be kissed by him.

Quaid-i-Azam said: “My lady, I waived my rights. I cannot kiss a lady unless I fall in love with her.”

On the 14th day of August, 1947, Lord Mountbatten with his wife came to Karachi for the investiture ceremony of the Governor-General of Pakistan. After Quaid-i-Azam was sworn in, the new State of Pakistan was handed over to him legally, constitutionally and with proper ceremony.

Lord Mountbatten proposed that Quiad-i-Azam be photographed with Lord and Lady Mountbatten. Quaid took it for granted, that, as usual etiquette requires, the lady will stand between the gentlemen. So he told Lady Mountbatten: “Now you will be photographed as the rose between the two thorns”. But Mountbatten insisted that Jinnah should stand in the middle. He said that being a Governor-General etiquette requires that Quaid-i-Azam should be in the centre. Naturally, Quaid-i-Azam yielded.

And when Quaid-i-Azam stood between the two, Mountbatten said to him: “Now you are the rose between two thorns.” He was right.

Whenever Quaid-i-Azam was cornered in a difficult situation, he proved greater than his opponent. His political enemies always wanted to publicise that Quaid-i-Azam was always with the Congress, but when the opportunity came he switched over to Muslim League.

In 1946, political agitation both by Congress and Muslim League had reached its zenith. The British government, always master of the art of side-tracking the main issue, suggested to Jawaharlal Nehru that as very soon India will be handed over to them, so as a beginning some Hindus and some Muslims should be taken in the Interim Cabinet.

Before that there was no such thing. The body which was functioning was the Viceroy’s Executive Council. But Jawaharlal Nehru insisted that it should be called a Cabinet. Example was shown that the Viceroy himself calls it a Cabinet.

Quaid-i-Azam refused to do so. He said the Cabinet is a constitutional body the members of which are selected from the members of Parliament by the leader of majority. Here, there is no such thing. It is purely an Executive Council and it cannot become a Cabinet merely because you call it a Cabinet. A donkey does not become an elephant because you call it an elephant.


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Opinion

Reliving Faith in modern times

Monitor News Bureau

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By Amir Suhail Wani

A voice lost to wilderness or the madman’s rubric, any talk of religion, God, metaphysic, values and reality suffers any of two possible consequences. Giving him the advantage of anonymity, a top notch Jamat i Islami scholar pertinently described modern epistemology with all its offsprings as the means and instruments of ensuing and securing a revolt against the God and religion. Never before was civilization so shallow in matters of faith and never before a unanimous and collective onslaught was launched against the sacred, Transcendent and divine. A mere mentions of words like “Divine”, “sacred” or “Transcendent” makes people, experiencing the opiedation of modernism, to rise their eyebrows. Any talk of worlds beyond the sensual is termed as intellectual backlog. World has seen, now and then, people rising, out of their intellectual sincerity or otherwise rising against religion and God. But historically they could never enjoy the status of metanarrative, but were always, by virtue of historical entelechy confined to margins of civilization. In post renaissance era world has succeeded, by and large, in constructing a civilisation and culture with man rather than God as its ontic reference. This man cantered civilization has paved all the possible ways for criticism and demolition of religious meta narrative.

Let’s come to philosophy first. Modern philosophy, starting with Descartian scepticism and evolving through the stages of Positivism, Naturalism, Materialism Nihilism and Existentialism, modern philosophy seems to have ultimately ended up at postmodernism. The possibilities of future development can’t be ignored nor can it be claimed that postmodernism is an all pervasive philosophical trend claiming universal adherence. But the broader picture of things has unfolded thus. Postmodernism maintains incredulity towards metanarrative and has brought with it a host of questions. Traditionally and even up to recent past man seemed to be unanimous on ontic and epistemic stability of things. But with postmodernism not only have been the institutions of religious and traditional impotence held under scrutiny but the very fundamentals of human existence like language, society and all other institutions of human importance have been deprived of their ontic reference and have been made to float freely in abyss of uncertainty. The case with science has been no better. Being a victim of excessive and inordinate empiricism, the Modern day science has surrendered its inquisitive and rational spirit to sheer scienticism.

 

Ibn Arabi, a classical theorizer of Islamic mysticism noted that “God is a percept, not a concept”. In this single line, the master has resolved an age old question and the problems associated with it. The notion of “conceptual scheme” as it has been adopted unquestionably alike by scientists and philosophers has brought with it an equal number of goods and ills. Man has turned obsessive to reduce everything to his conceptual categories. The human attitude of dividing a problem into subunits, though it has paid heavily in scientific realm, but has simultaneously brought irreconcilable problems in other affairs of human existence. Modern medicine treats biology disentangled from psychology and this piecemeal approach has landed us in an era where we know more and more about less and less. In a sense we know everything about nothing and nothing about everything. Traditionally things were seen associated and entangled in the cosmic Web. Coming back to human methodology of understanding things by dividing them into subcategories and then understanding things in terms of local mental categories has distorted and ruined our understanding of God, sacred and divine. We need to understand that the laws formulated by human mind are refuted within the physical realm itself. Thus the laws obeyed by matter aren’t obeyed by light and the laws applicable to fermions are completely defied by bosons. So within our physical immediacy are instances to cleave apart our ultimate trust in the laws of physics. The unending quest for unified theory in physics might bring further insights in this direction. Thus we need to be careful and watchful to the fact that the laws of matter do not apply to the realm of spirit. Coming back to God who is neither material nor spiritual, neither defined by material boundaries nor circumscribed by contours of space we need to be all the more careful. While we try to understand God in terms of mental categories derived from our physical realm we need to be very cautious that all these categories do not hold true beyond this material universe. Our conceptual schemes, which in the final analysis rest on the categories of mundane material realm are too coarse and inappropriate to conceptualise and theorise the realm of divine, sacred and godhead. At a point where despite all boasting scientific discoveries man is yet incapable of understanding his basic biology and where despite of conquering the vastness of space man is yet to gain a glimpse of his psychological depths any sweeping statements and miscalculated statements oriented towards reduction of divine to categories of psyche seems but a naive affair. The enlightened theologians, mystics and philosophers of the past have explicitly denounced the access of finite human mind to infinite cosmic intelligence. What God has informed us here and there in sacred texts is to contemplate the nature and our own selves. This unbiased contemplation is sure to bring forth some indirect aspects of divine. Though we shall be fully conscious of the fact that within the physical universe and human civilization there are instances which are heartrending, discouraging and at times they run quite contrary to the notion of divine. But the mystics and enlightened men throughout the history have been able to dissect the veil of appearance and have succeeded in looking at the essence of existence. On having this enlightened vision they bowed their heads and understood the essence of these apparent vagaries of nature. Ibrahim, the father of modern monotheism, Buddha a silent contemplator, Nanak, a socially conscious religious purgatory amply demonstrate this state of enlightenment. Modern scientific mind is highly welcome in questioning the authenticity of religion, aspects of divine and the apparent chaos that is witnessed everywhere in physical and social landscape. There can be no proper understanding in absence of questioning. Likewise doubt is an essential ingredient of faith. But while one raises questions in atheist or any such frame one must have patience, tolerance and wide sightedness to understand theistic point of view. To dub religion irrational for its simple disagreement with science seems a rather constricted opinion. Religion has been a great architect in shaping the course of human civilization and to unfasten our knots with this perennial source of wisdom, learning, inspiration and exaltation will amount to gross intellectual injustice. The need of hour is not to posit theists and atheists as antithetical but to encourage each to understand the point of other. Maybe in this collective endeavour humanity discovers a paradigm that has still not been thought of.

(The author is a freelance columnist with bachelors in Electrical Engineering and a student of comparative studies with special interests in Iqbaliyat & mystic thought. He contributes a weekly column for this newspaper that appears every Monday. He can be reached at: [email protected])

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Opinion

Pleasures of poetry

Monitor News Bureau

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By Shabbir Aariz   

Poetry is a refined manifestation of using language artfully, effectively and persuasively. Priest, poet and blacksmith were the three those stood before the King in ancient times. Priest and blacksmith are easily identifiable but how do we describe poet? The Greek and Latin roots of the word “poet” means “creator” describing one who demonstrates great imaginative power, insight or beauty of expression. Therefore, the poet must be more than a writer of pretty words. A poet while writing poetry, the poet means to reach his audience in the deepest part of their being and wants to make them absolutely sure that he knows what he is talking about, because they are able to understand what the poet is saying so clearly. It is unlikely that a poet seeks fame. Ideally he is just seeking one person who understands; who embraces him and acknowledges a secret that they share; a mutual agreement that they are both same. It ought to have a universal appeal. It should not be confined to a particular time or age. It matters little whether a poet had a large audience in his own time. What matters is that there should always be at least a small audience for him in every generation. One has to take the poetry into one’s heart to fan the fire there and then also light one’s own fires. One amuses oneself with the world over which one finds to have been given dominion and trust that poetry will in the same measure help one to understand and explain it. Enshrined in poetry are the pleasures of entertainment as well as the pleasures of value. Entertaining pleasure suggests mirth and relaxation while as pleasures of value indicates information and learning. Amazingly some believe that poetry with a particular social, moral, religious or political message restricts reader’s imagination but T S Eliot holds that poetry always adds more to reader’s knowledge of the subject and sharpens his/her thinking power for that particular area. According to him, the poet utilizes his own language for expressing his people’s feelings and emotions. The twofold duty is thus performed; directly promoting, preserving and improving the language with an indirect duty to his people. There should be no denying of the fact that a poet is a person of extraordinary intellect and observation with a command over human nature that allows him to versify his people’s emotions in poetry. How interesting is the fact that such expression of feelings also enriches the language and keeps it alive for ever. We are well aware that in this part of the world, Urdu language even after stepmother’s treatment, has flourished more because of its excellent treasure of poetry and its worst enemies use it to properly express themselves. One finds it appropriate to mention Khushwant Singh’s observation while he says that if you are in love, you need to understand Urdu poetry and if you want to understand Urdu poetry, you need to fall in love. No doubt the role of poetry is less certain due to distractions. Electronic boom like TV, internet and computer made it less tempting and lesser reading population. Needless to say that earlier reading was a primary activity of the population and poets represented the spiritual guide of the population, who helped reader identify their most internal emotions, intuitions and imaginations. Yet the role remains the same as a century ago. Poet captures the essence of the world and the society in a unique manner and reflects it to be understood by people. He also captures the essence of internal emotions including joy, sadness, fear, hope as well as any other feeling comprehensive real of emotions. Poetry is an art to engage, to influence and to inspire. Poetry, every time has passed the ordeal of understanding the realities of human life to its readers with an infallible test of blameless style. Poetry appears to have remained an effective medium of articulating the concrete realities with an ability to speak forth ideas ever since the creation of the universe and the man along with it. And various poets have attempted to define poetry. Someone has observed, “poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words”. Sigmund Freud says, “poets are masters of us ordinary men, in knowledge of the mind, because they drink at streams which we have not yet made accessible to science”. He further observes, “Everywhere I go I find that a poet has been there before me”. P B Shelly observes, “poetry lifts the veil from the hidden beauty of the world”. While John Keats says “…… a thing which enters into one’s soul…”. Samuel Taylor Coleridge centuries before has held, “…. For poetry is the blossom and fragrancy of all human knowledge, human thoughts, human passions, emotions, language.” All said, the poetry in its ultimate analyses is to call the soldier to war and a lover into the bosom.

(A leading lawyer and eminent poet, author contributes a weekly column. He can be reached at:  [email protected]

 
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Opinion

Fighting the menace of corruption

Monitor News Bureau

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By Fida Firdous

Recently J&K Governor publically said that behind the fake appointments in JK Bank there seems some back of political people and involvement of corrupted big fish will not be spared.  He without wasting further time he sacked Chairman J&K Bank. Half of a month had gone, where is report? Who is investigating the case? What has been done to fake appointment?  If this was not just a news stunt or a political posture, then, why action under rules is not initiated against corrupt people? These are some legitimate questions from the desired youth of J&K to be answered?

Governor in his speech said that Kashmir is the victim of politicians and corruption. The statement was widely appreciated and welcomed by all. Without naming any particular political party he denounces any relaxation on corruption belonging to any political party or person.

 

Pretend to mention here, why the system is corrupted? Who makes us corrupted? And what are the consequences of corruption? I’m not writing an essay but revealing what I have witnessed. Let’s talk about home? J&K is among the most corrupted states in India a study of Centre for Media Studies (CMS) in its annual corruption study – CMS 2017- has placed Jammu and Kashmir among top corrupted states.

Answers of these questions are simple, “helplessness” of giver before the corrupted system. There is evidence that corruption at the top of a bureaucratic system increases corruption at lower levels. Manipulating the social and political environment.  

Paradoxically, increased corruption in JK has increased the level of frustration in the young competent youth. This is not evident in jobs only, but other sections as well.  There is a well phenomenon that giving and getting bribe both is corruption. But this phenomenon is administrative in practical. Until transparent system will not be enforced by the government organs to eliminate corruption. The giver and taker will no longer be active in malpractice. So, primary duty of eliminating corruption depends on government organs.

Unemployment is the outcome of corruption. The consequence is deviation of youth and addiction of drugs and involvement in unlawful activities. Youth which is called backbone of a developing country like India and in the conflicted state like JK has its worst results seen so far.  

Today if you are worth competent, merit holder and lacking approach you are at ground zero. For giving bribe you need a political or bureaucratic approach, Agents of corruption. Those who don’t fall under such category will fall prey and sick. What approach means? It doesn’t mean a transparent approach for promising justice, no, not at all. Here it means something else. My simple words may heart some of the persons who are involved in the recent backdoor appointment through political approach and get jobs in JK Bank being incompetent and undesirable that marred the merit of desirable ones. That is why I failed to qualify interviews many times due to the notorious and corrupted system.

Giving job to undesirable person for being a voter or supporter for political gain and use them for propaganda is a bumpy idea. This can’t be the subtlety of politics. Does it mean after pursuing PhD I should follow illiterate politicians for adjustment? Bear me it happens in my home, where an educated person becomes the political bedfellows for getting a job. They are habitually now? They are in a mess of materialistic world where aspirations of the desired candidates are not delivered properly.  At this point of time they become the victim in hands of influential ones or bribers. In a way society is dying. Young youth getting frustrated. Those who facade corruptions are agents of evil.

Don’t take it simple. It is a curse. A curse like cancer. Frustration is due for a postgraduate unemployment youth looking a 10th class person’s in job without any merit. It notionally has bad impact on our society. Further, the more corruption, the slower the economic growth. One of the worse consequences of the corruption is to produce incompetent society. Developed countries are mainly depends upon the competent people, and developing country like India or Kashmir, incorporated incompetent people either by bribe or influence, this incompetency can never contribute to our society. Hence we are thousand years back then the developing countries.

No doubt, corruption is inevitable fact of human civilization. It is the malaise attached to the largest democracy of the world that is India. From getting a job to IAY facility or to any legal case nothing goes without giving a bribe. But it is actually we people who are promoting it; we gave bribe to skip the queues to get driving license without giving any test. There are thousands of cases (files) pending rounding from table to table in our highest office civil secretariat from years reasons best known to everyone. The disposal of our work culture is corrupted.     

Corruption in J&K has becomes a national security threat. We can’t stop it, but there are ways to reduce it. It starts with the government but it includes everyone from lowliest to the highest. In short corruption has to eliminate somewhere and it stops at the ballot box and it stops in the home. Politicians are well aware about this fact, but they are not ready to take any lesson from the pages of history. PV Narasimha Roa is the worst example that history has ever met.

J&K Anti-corruption Bureau, J&K State Vigilance Commission and other agencies must eliminate corruption at a point that it doesn’t affect the whole society in a bad way. An honest man must believe in honesty, everyone is not corrupt. Coordination of young educated youth towards corruption should be voluntary and open. (The writer cam be reached at: [email protected])                                                                                     

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