SURGICAL STRIKE ON AGING

SHABBIR AARIZ

A man cannot alter his inevitable fate. But he can manage the way he comes to terms with it. If he does so, rather than simply letting events take their course, he can do much to prolong the richness of his life as well as his years. It is immediately after the middle age that one starts counting the years having added to one’s life and that is the time one is visited by unwelcome feeling of getting old. Aging upsets for a variety of reasons. One finds that his longtime associates with whom were his emotional bonds, such as parents and grandparents besides many more loved ones are not around while others down the line like children or grandchildren are genuinely for life’s pursuits drifting away. This shrinking socialization with one’s kith and kin throws psychological challenges leading to the feelings of loneliness, despair and depression. The problem is particularly acute in men who have themselves carried through important activities in their careers while making a living and find suddenly the phase coming to an end with the statutory age of retirement. That may be one aspect of feeling old but otherwise also there are other bells ringing like loss of energy and will, ailment and inertia. To combat the effects of old age, from a number of sources do come the suggestions and instructions like what kind of food, exercise, interaction and activity be undertaken once the old age sets in. Having due regard to the wisdom attached to that kind of counselling, I am more impressed and influenced while remaining in association of at least two exemplary elders of our society. One was a senior colleague, late K L Koul, who lived up to a hundred and for half of it as a diabetic but his grace, wit and wisdom stayed with him all his life. I was of the age of his grandchild, when he treated me as his friend the way he treated any of his own age. He always favored me with books that I could not have read otherwise as he was himself a great book lover. He continues to be my inspiration to defeat the effects of old age which he did while confronting numerous challenges of life and never giving in to any. Another model that I have come across, was father of my longtime friend Afzal. Afzal’s father, Kh Mohammad Sidique Parray of Shivepora kicked the bucket at the age of hundred and seven as an alert person with all the positive attitude towards life and interestingly gave himself a shave the morning he died. Always as affectionate and as friendly with his great grandchildren as with the people of his own generation. More surprising is the fact that he at the age of hundred wrote a book of memoirs, though yet to be published, reflecting socio-political life of the times when none of us were born. There may be many such examples but I have come across these two classic examples who were neither afraid of death nor were they bowed down by the cruelty of the old age. Two important things I learned from them is that reading and writing trains the mind towards positivity and halts negative thoughts. There are many other instances of the advantages of reading, writing or creative activity that we read about. Titian completed his “The Battle of Lepanto”, at 95; he began work on one of the most famous paintings in the world “The Descent from the Cross,” when he was 97. Benjamin Franklin invented bifocals at 78. These men are the exceptions, of course. But the fact that many people can mature creatively indicates that there is indeed hope for all of us. Age brings experience and sound judgement. Experience is the best teacher. Old people are wise and young people, impetuous. In fact nobody gets old by merely living a number of years. People get old by deserting their ideas and ideals. Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Better is also not to tell your age. It is not important. If you keep telling your age to the people that will catalogue you then you are sure to be in a mold from which you cannot escape. Be yourself: Let the world think what it likes. It is better not to know the age or weariness or defeat. That is going to be wonderful. It is, therefore, not to have hangovers and wrap up the past in a scroll, tie a pink ribbon around it, put it away in a drawer and go about doing the things you have always wanted to do. Never confine to a trench as there is always a new firing line beyond.
(A leading lawyer and eminent poet, author can be reached at: [email protected])