Connect with us

Editorial

Raising the children

The Kashmir Monitor

Published

on

IST


The world of work does not look favourably on childbirth and parenthood, despite the legislation in place. Stay-at-home parents fare no better. This is something that most of us only discover after we take on the role of childrearing.

I used to believe that we had come far in the fight for equality, but giving birth opened my eyes to the truth that, embedded within our culture, the mechanisms that silence women, refuse to take us seriously and sever us from the centres of power, still exist. That patriarchy is alive and well, and it is kicking us when we are down.

As the mother of boys I am acutely aware that it is not just women who are affected by patriarchy. The high rate of suicide among young men points to a huge problem within society, rooted in our need to tell boys to “man up” and hide their vulnerability.

 

We encourage dominance in our sons and submission in our daughters, and by doing so perpetuate a cycle that results in the crushing effects of patriarchy.

Our political system, our judiciary and our boardrooms are still run mainly by men. Whether we like it or not, our key decision makers are male. But if change is to come, it will be with men as our comrades and not as our enemies.

This allegiance needs to come from a place of respect and equality, and not formed between double-agents of the patriarchy and men whose egos must be pandered to.

The need for male allies has never been greater. This is a frightening time, and not just for the parents of daughters; it is troubling for those of us who are raising sons, too. Social media talks of men too worried to go on a date alone and of people arming their boys with video cameras and diaries, for fear of being accused of wrongdoing.

But my fear is not that my sons will be falsely accused of sexual crimes against women – countless women in my circle have been subjected to sexual harassment, but not one male has been falsely accused.

Instead, my worry is that if I do not teach my sons to respect women they could get swept up by the tide of pride and arrogance of patriarchy, a tide that tells them they are the masters of the universe and as such can do whatever they like and get away with it; a tide that could steal from them their right to mental wellbeing, healthy relationships with their spouses and with their children.

I navigate all these thoughts, day in, day out, alongside the whirlwind of phonics and pre-school arithmetic. As I pack lunch boxes, watch CBeebies over my boys’ shoulders, and ferry them to and from football and swimming lessons, the quiet voice of good sense and reason remains a constant – “How about we simply teach our sons to respect women?” Let’s do away with colour-coded childrearing, place the baby dolls and toy cars with dinosaurs, and allow our children to choose their own paths.

Let’s raise them with stories of strong men and women who worked together with honour and dignity to change the world.

Let’s allow our sons to express their emotions and teach them that feelings stereotyped as feminine are not lesser emotions. Start by supporting them when they cry, so they learn the importance of sensitivity, empathy vulnerability – which, contrary to popular belief, don’t lead to weakness but result in the formation of strong men, confident in their abilities, and steeped in self-belief. And maybe if we do this, the boys we raise to become the men of tomorrow will have no need to control women.

Because men like Donald Trump and Brett Kavanaugh are the product of a poisonous culture that suppresses genuine emotion in boys, and by doing so deprive us all of a place of emotional safety.

We are not powerless, we are extraordinarily powerful. As we give birth to and raise the next generation, we can captain the ships and navigate the seas that will set our sons and daughters on a safer path than this.


The Kashmir Monitor is the fastest growing newspaper as well as digitial platform covering news from all angles.

Comments

Editorial

Looking beyond rhetoric

The Kashmir Monitor

Published

on

The government’s haste in implementation of highly controversial Triple Talaq bill, seems like an attempt to persecute Muslim community by criminalizing the not so prevalent practice of instant triple divorce.The move has triggered a heated debate all around and the opposition predominantly claims it as a direct intervention in Muslim personal laws. It is not surprising the bill has been drafted and presented in Lok Sabha by a political dispensation well known for their anti-Muslim stance – which itself raises several questions.

Divorce is the basic right of any individual as is the right to choose one’s partner and to criminalize such right is equal to crushing out the essence of freedom.In its final verdict Supreme Court’s bench found the practice of “triple talaq” as unconstitutional and non-theological, as well ruled out the possibility of any legislation by Parliament as was suggested by two judges. One of the judges of the Supreme Court’s bench, Justice Joseph said in the given verdict “What cannot be true in theology cannot be protected by the law.But despite, the declaration of instant triple talaq as invalid by the Supreme Court, the ruling party introduced a new bill in Lok Sabha, that makes the declaration of “Triple Talaq” (instant and procedural) to be void and illegal, and a cognizable offence (if information relating to the offence is given by the woman and her blood or close relatives).

Here, second thing that exposed the duality of intention of BhartiyaJanta Party while addressing the issue of Triple Talaq and scraping of IPC 497 is that, latter constrained adultery with the wife of another man, without the consent or connivance of that man, such sexual intercourse not amounting to the offence of rape, is guilty of the offence of adultery as well as per the law women as abettor was exempted from punishment.

 

So earlier, IPC 497 law was partially anti-women but the latter scraping of IPC 497 turned the scenario and became an apparatus to hit the loyalty and sanctity of marriage. Hence, somehow both the instant triple talaq and scraping of 497 are on same strata and responsible to break down the structure of marriage. On that ruling party, BJP showed a hypocritical attitude while addressing the two similar issues, they paid a great effort to challenge triple talaq and introduced The Muslim Women (Protection of Rights on Marriage) Bill, 2018 but remain unaddressed the issue of IPC 497 which is more against the spirit of the family & marriage institution.

Even, the most sacred Islamic text Holy Quran and Hadith has clearly invalidated the practice of instant triple talaq, as well provided a prescribed procedure of how to end up a nuptial tie.Quran described instant triple talaq as TalaqUlBidat (the sinful form of divorce) as it is against the spirit of the holy book, whereas Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) found it as invalid practice.“Three divorces were treated as one” during the lifetime of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), Caliph Abu Bakr and Caliph Umar’s reign.

Basically, the issue of triple talaq has been thoroughly discussed in five schools of thought, whereas in some cases Hanafi school of thought entertained the idea. But the clerics belonging to the particular sect have also accepted the facts that triple talaq was responsible for spreading social evils. Hence, 23 Muslim nations have already banned the practice.Here, all the schools of thought determined the punishment of instant triple talaq and there are ample resolutions available in the theology to provide the maintenance and means of livelihood to the affected women.

One cannot deny the fact that triple talaq as a political tool is used due to negligence of All India Muslim Personal Law board who failed to address the issue in the light of Shariah law. It was their responsibility to initiate a research to gather the data of such cases and to invalidate the practice of triple talaq as it is theologically irrelevant. If the BJP government was sincere enough they can collect data in collaboration with All India Muslim personal Law Board and seek out a solution.

Continue Reading

Editorial

The unabated border tension

The Kashmir Monitor

Published

on

The border tension between India and Pakistan shows no signs of decline. On Tuesday, an Assistant Commandant of Border Security Force (BSF) was killed in a ‘sniper fire’ by Pakistan along the Line of Control (LoC) in Samba district of Jammu. Elsewhere, three BSF personnel and an army soldier were injured in separate incidents of firing along Rajouri and Kathua districts. Last week, Pakistan summoned Indian Acting deputy High Commissioner to lodge protest against “unprovoked” firing by Indian army in Shahkote sector which resulted in death of a woman. The number of ceasefire violations (CFVs) and the resultant casualties of soldiers and civilians on both sides along the Line of Control and the international border between India and Pakistan have seen a dramatic rise in the past five years.

Official records say that 2936 incidents cases of ceasefire violations took place, last year, the highest in the last 15 years, making mockery of the ceasefire agreement of 2003 between the two countries. For two years – 2004 and 2005–there was not a single such violation on the border. In 2006 just three incidents of CFVs took place while in 2007 and 08, there were 21 and 77 such incidents. There had been a gradual increase in ceasefire violations 2009 and 2013 with 28 in 2009, 44 in 2010, 62 in 2011, 114 in 2012 and 347 in 2013. After 2013, the CFVs witnessed serious rise. Since 2014, the border tension hit new levels with the Line of Control and International Border brimming with artillery and firearm sounds. The seriousness of the situation can be understood from the latest threat by army chief Gen Bipin Rawat. He said that India would mind to strike inside Pakistan if the need arose. Pakistan army has viewed it as a direct threat from Indian army and retorted that they were ready for war if it was imposed on them. It is no exaggeration to say that the current level of hostilities is the most dangerous escalation since the 2003 ceasefire agreement. Though the ceasefire violations never ceased on the LOC or working boundary but it had never been so threatening as it is today.

The numbers of dead on both sides, civil and military, is rising. Indian and Pakistani armies, some time back, released videos of attacks on each others’ positions on the LOC claiming heavy losses on both sides. The most unfortunate part is that there is no agency or process or set of protocols that appear to be able or willing to stop or at least bring a pause to what is now dangerously close to outright warfare. The provocative statements by military and political leadership and incensed media propaganda on both sides go on un-endingly.

 

It is now an admitted fact that political factors play a major role in determining the relations between the two countries. Vajpyee, who was seen as a man of peace, and General Musharaf, despite serious provocations from hardliners with the government and the deep state, sorted out a strategy to lessen the tension between the two countries which worked quite successfully. It was Vajpayee’s political sagacity that brought Gen Musharaf on board who put a stop to what India called cross border terrorism. The present dispensation however has different priorities. They are using external trouble for political gains internally. That way they have developed a vested interest in border tensions. It is most likely that the tension may escalate further given the political compulsions ahead of the ruling party at the centre.

The general elections in India are being held in April/May, and BJP would desperately need heightening India-Pakistan tension to woo electorate on its side. That might help BJP gain electorally but India, as nation, would have to bear its fruits.

Continue Reading

Editorial

H1N1 deaths

The Kashmir Monitor

Published

on

Kashmir is reeling under yet another deadly disease—Swine flu also known as H1N1. The valley recorded the year’s first casualty last week when two persons died of the disease in the premier SMHS hospital. One more patient is battling for life in the hospital with H2N3 virus. The H1N1 or swine flu is now considered a seasonal flu which mostly survives in cold humid conditions. At least 30 people died due to swine flu in Kashmir Valley where a total of 147 cases were reported last winter season. In the past three months, 12 people have fallen victim to the fatal run of the swine flu till date. The first death of this season occurred in September, last. Official record shows that 50 people have been admitted in SKIMS under the influence of the disease out of which 42 have been discharged after the treatment while eight are still being treated. Doctors in the hospital have warned that H1N1 is a contagious disease and can transmit from one person to another. They have asked for taking precautionary measures to escape the disease. This is matter of serious concern. The even more alarming is the shortage of medicines. Report says that the valley hospitals are without proper medicine.

Barring SKIMS and SMHS hospital, there is no flu vaccine available in any hospital in the valley. This leaves SKIMS and SMHS as the only testing and treatment centre. Experts say that the swine flu outbreak can be contained but only if medicines reach the affected on time.

When the hospitals are not equipped with the testing and treatment drugs, how the disease could be contained. There is every reason for the people to feel panicky and authorities need to take the problem seriously and equip hospital with adequate medicine before the panic take over the valley. The panic has gripped even the medical fraternity as well as the lack of relevant vaccines has put the lives of doctors at risk. Doctors at SKIMS, who are dealing with patients at the Emergency and the OPD of the hospital, too are vulnerable to the disease and could catch infection in the absence of immunization and protective gear. Doctors and other hospital staff are not provided with personal protectionequipments while dealing with H1N1 patients thus putting them also at risk of contracting the virus.

 

There are no H1N1 vaccines which are to be given to high-risk persons with diabetes, elderly, children below 5 years, pregnant women, chronic diseases, immuno compromised and healthcare workers as the virus can be fatal in them. The designated laboratory for testing at SKIMS does not have the desired Biosafety-3 level for handling and processing H1N1 samples which is dangerous to staff and community. No sensitization and awareness programmes are conducted in hospitals with the result majority of H1N1 patients are overlooked. What is even more criminal is the silence by the concerned authorities. They have maintained complete silence over the deadly contours of the disease and the non-availability of the medicines. It is no less than criminal that despite these disturbing realities, some sections in the government would give false hope to people and come out with advisories of ‘no-panic’. The state administration should, in first place, take note of health hazards in the wake of fast spreading swine flu and activate the administration to take necessary measures, provide relevant vaccines and other medicine and expertise for the disease.

Instead of keeping the lack of medicines a secret, the administration should approach central government for immediate help by providing medicines. An awareness campaign through advertisements in the media should also be launched to keep people abreast of the dangers of the disease and measures to be taken at individual level for self protection.

Continue Reading

Subscribe to The Kashmir Monitor via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to The Kashmir Monitor and receive notifications of new stories by email.

Join 979,866 other subscribers

Archives

January 2019
M T W T F S S
« Dec    
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28293031  
Advertisement