(Opinion) The evil of eve-teasing

 Peerzadi Humaira Sadiq

Eve teasing is a serious offense that often gets ignored. It is the harassment of women in public spaces. To be more clear, it is referred to as an act of harassing women playfully or maliciously, physically or psychologically.

It is done to irritate, provoke, annoy, or humiliate a woman with crass comments, vulgar gestures, jokes, physical contact, or taunting causing psychological distress to women.

Women themselves typically disregard the act because they believe it to be innocuous and non-violent, and they eventually forget about it as they don’t want any further “trouble”. However, it must be viewed as a serious case of harassment of a woman and dealt as such.

Many women who dare to leave their house for educational purposes or earn a living may have experienced eve teasing in one way or another. Each woman has her own personal space like any other individual. Intrusion of her personal space without her permission causes her problems and can be harmful to her mental wellbeing.

Eve teasing is a problem visible nearly everywhere, including on streets, public transport, and at educational facilities or workplaces. This behaviour of casually making remarks that are offensive to a woman is a result of gender insensitivity and reflects poorly on the society and how men view women.

Some people claim that girls are to blame for the situation because they dress in a particular way and are therefore more likely to be harassed or subjected to eve teasing. But in my experience, women have been totally covered and yet experienced harassment.

I’ve seen ladies at work who are completely covered, but lewd remarks still get passed in their direction. I’ve witnessed instances where a woman is completely covered but is still groped against her will. I’ve been privy to cases where a woman would receive crass text messages from random numbers, hundreds of them every day.

I’ve come across instances where an unknown person obtained a girl’s phone number from a university/college WhatsApp group, and started texting her for no reason, followed her around on social media, kept an eye on her in public and approached her in an inappropriate manner.

Moreover, if the girl rightfully turns down his advances, they then attempt to assassinate her character and raise question marks on her life choices despite having no idea of who she is and no basis to make those allegations in the first place.

How one remark can change someone’s life

A while ago a friend of mine pleaded with her parents to let her work, but they first refused. After much deliberation they eventually granted her permission to take up a job at a nearby school. She was obviously relieved and looked forward to the next step in her life. But little did she know that things would turn ugly for her in a matter of days.

While she was travelling one day when some wanderers made a comment about her that was unremarkable to them but traumatic to her. She didn’t know how to respond and was perplexed. When she got back home, she told her parents about what happened. They initially placed the blame on her and then advised her to remain inside, thus bringing an end to her budding career aspirations. The trauma from those comments by those boys and her parents’ decision left her scared. Her mental health deteriorated over the next few months and she had a difficult time going out of her house without being afraid that something may happen to her.

More recently there was an eve teasing incident which I witnessed myself. I was standing on the opposite side of the road and watching a girl completely covered from head to toe, minding her own business. A boy who could have been between 18 and 20 years old approached her from behind and touched her in an indecent manner on her back and then walked away. She stared him at the moment but didn’t utter a word and immediately walked away from her place while looking around. She could have taken hold of him through his collar and disciplined him, but she chose not to.

My mind was racing with questions following this incident.

What was the cause of her silence following this violation? Was she taught not to respond if any such thing happened?
What possible justification could there be for this young boy for touching her inappropriately at such a young age? Was there a reason he left his house, or did he merely come venture out to touch and harass other girls? Would he be able to recognise his mistake one day? Or he’ll simply be himself, leading that immodest life.

People need to speak up

Women are warned not to tell these tales, since doing so will harm them in the long run; no one will want to marry her, as her dignity is tarnished or so we are told. She is blamed for whatever she suffered. At the very first opportunity to speak out against it, she is silenced.

Some individuals will hold women solely accountable for these actions and tell them to stay at home. We need to ask why guys are not held accountable for these crimes just because it is quietly accepted for them to do so and ruin anyone’s life for their own amusement?

Why are they insensitive about how a person may feel after their ridiculous actions? This doesn’t only affect the girl or woman but her family bears the burnt too at times.

This article isn’t to target men or to toot the horn of feminism, since everyone cannot be viewed from the same lens. There are men who will stand up against such issues, speak out in public and will come to the defence of a girl. Even they are at times silenced or choose to refrain from voicing their concerns because of how people might view them if they come to defend the honour of a girl getting publicly harassed or molested.

But eve teasing isn’t a problem that can be dismissed easily and swept under the rug as is often the case. It is a serious issue and must be dealt with strictly.

One remark from a man may ruin a woman’s entire life and terribly affect her mental wellbeing.

One unsolicited touch may leave a scar on her that may never heal.

A woman finds strength when she sees people around her being supportive and not when she is too afraid to even venture out of her house for the fear of being harassed and teased because of her gender.